Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
