if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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