Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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