you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
