Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
