We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
