I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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