I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
