dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
