My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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