oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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