so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
