I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
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you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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