Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
