i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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