Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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