You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
