dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have fence marks all over my body
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
