to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
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Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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