my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
