its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You smell like stripper and shame
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
