He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
