I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
