i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
