just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
