some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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