Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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