Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
