I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
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