batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Everclear isn't food dammit
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
