I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize