go do what you do best...puke behind churches
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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