why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
