a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
this just has baby written all over it
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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