I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just want nice things and good sex
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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