so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
