The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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