I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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