mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize