and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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