God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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