So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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