thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
