I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
