So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
