some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
