We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
ttyl tear gas
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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