Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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