We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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