Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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