from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
