you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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