he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
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Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
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I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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