$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
