On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
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It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize