Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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