I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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