Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
