..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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