we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize