idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
