margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So much rum. So many feels.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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