WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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