Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
