My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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