Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
