dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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