no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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