So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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