Dual....:-)
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think i got beer on your cat.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
